Many of us will be spending more time at home in the coming weeks – on one hand, because it’s been suggested by the government, and on the other, because many of us are either under quarantine or have weak immune systems.
This time will be difficult for all of us, but especially for those who don’t see home as a safe place. Please pay attention to what’s going on around you. Check up on your friends going through relationship crises. Knock on your neighbors’ doors or call the police if you hear screaming or crying. Call the people in your lives who are experiencing difficulties at home and offer your emotional and/or financial support. If you have reason to believe that children or youth are not safe at home, please contact the child protective services.
Domestic violence affects children, women, and men, young and old, rich and poor, healthy and sick, straight and queer alike – violence can be present everywhere. It can take the form of physical and/or sexualized violence, but also the form of psychological abuse. As this type of abuse is often less obvious, especially to those suffering from it, we’ve put together a list of important signs and characteristics of psychological abuse:
- Your feelings and needs are belittled, ignored or labeled as wrong
- The dependencies (e.g. parental, financial, or emotional) within the relationship are used to manipulate you in some sort of way
- You’re constantly told that you’re bad or dumb, that you do everything wrong, and that you wouldn’t survive on your own
- Your life is under control – for example, you’re not allowed to have contact with your family or friends, you’re not allowed to leave the house when you want to, you cannot make your own decisions about your health or your future, you can’t make independent financial decisions, and/or your decisions about your sexual identity, boundaries and/or contraception are ignored or actively broken
- You suffer under frequent emotional outbursts of your spouse/carer/family member
These were just a few examples, though there are certainly many more, and your situation doesn’t necessarily need to line up with any of the listed examples – domestic abuse can present itself in many different ways.
If you need to reach out for help, it doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or that you don’t love your family. But you have the right to be protected and have your boundaries respected, especially because your needs and feelings are as important as everyone else’s. If you need help, there are many different organizations that will work together with you to figure out the next steps forward!
For everyone who doesn’t feel safe at home or who feels like they need help, here are a few community organizations that could offer help and support:
- For children and young adults:
- Chat at nuortennetti.fi
- MLL’s on call service at 116 111
- Local CPS (Kuopio’s number is 044 718 3729 from 9-12) or in acute situations on call social service number 044 7183930. You can also leave a CPS report online any time of the day.
- The Women’s Help Line:
- Help line for immigrant women at 0800 05058 and safehouse Mona’s phone at 045 639 6274
- Crisis-line by Tukinainen for women who’ve experienced sexual violence and/or abuse at 0800-97899
- Men’s Hot Line:
- väkivaltaa kokeneet miehet – on call phone number 044 751 1340
- väkivaltaa kokeneet miehet – on call phone number 044 751 1340
- LGBTQAI+:
- Sinuiksi help line at 044 300 2355
- For everyone:
- Nollalinja, is a line for abuse victims that is open 24/7 at 080 005 005
- Rikosuhripäivystys (victim support) has a chat at riku.fi or you can call them at 116 006
- National crisis line answers calls 24/7 at 09 2525 0111
These organizations offer free, anonymous help and advice (check opening hours if not mentioned!). Sadly not all services are available in english but some are so check them out if you need help.
In acute emergencies (physical or sexualized violence, suicidal thoughts), please call the police at (0295 415 455) or the general emergency number 112.
This website also has more information about domestic abuse: nettiturvakoti.fi
Take care of each other!
